hey sam,
i’ve always liked your content but also kind of hated it, just because i couldn’t accept the reality of being a faggot. although there are soo many signs and even my mindset is there, it’s a bit hard. but today something happened which was pretty telling
i was at the local sports court, playing with a friend when a group of guys came up to use and suggested we play in teams. i was put on a team with 2 guys who are friends. one of them was a clear alpha – my first impression of him was me walking onto the court & he was flexing both his biceps to his friend. soon after the game started it became clear that i was the least talented player (on both teams lol), and then my teammates kind of stopped passing me the ball anytime. and then 2 other guys joined and one of them also had a bit of an alpha vibe, and of course…to my luck, he joined our team. i could immediately tell that he sensed i was a fag, and started bossing me around (in the context of the game), while also ignoring me (in terms of passes, shooting, etc.)
as i said, i was with a friend who is straight (not an alpha tho), and he kind of immediately had the respect of the other guys on the court, but i was kind of just ignored the whole time…especially by the alphas (mainly the one flexing his biceps).
and instead of feeling sad (i did a bit..), i felt kind of realization wash over me that i’m stupid to think i could ever be on the level of an alpha in anything really. instead of playing on the same team as the alpha, i should be tending to his needs, bringing him water, fetching the ball, etc.
& i also couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to be used by him. even tho he is definitely not my type, and also not the prettiest guy out there, i would even say i’m prettier than him, but something about his attitude and the way he treated me (ignored and looked down) kind of made me want to serve him. another aspect that also excited me is that i was clearly older than him (he must’ve been 20-21 & i’m 27). it felt nice hot to be made to feel less by someone who is younger than me.
unfortunately where i currently live, being gay is not acceptable at all, so i would never be able to even hint at my faggotry (although we just learned it’s sometimes obvious) while im still here.
im sorry i guess this is not a question but just an anecdote..
Well, I’m glad you’ve finally started to have your eyes opened to the truth, brother! Yes, Hierarchy is undeniable. Once you grasp it, you start seeing it everywhere … just as you described!
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