Unsure Alpha
Hey man, I’m not sure exactly how to start this but to give you a bit of background I found out about the alpha hierarchy last year in college when my roommate, Jack, turned out to be a fag and showed me this page. I really resonated with being a protective alpha and enjoyed owning Jack as a fag especially just having a servant and hole to use whenever I was pent up. This past year I moved into a new apartment with a few random people but my fag couldn’t live with us because he had to live closer to his job. During this time I became close with one of my roomates let’s call him Ray. We got close going to the gym together and going to some of the same cultural clubs. Earlier this year we got drunk and he ranted to me about how girls were so needy to get blowjobs or have sex with and I agreed and told him a bit about owning a fag to just use without worrying about all the needy aspects. We ended up talking about it for a bit before he asked me how it worked and at this point I had 2 fags, Jack & Leo, I owned. I let Ray take Leo once to see if he enjoyed it and he ended up telling me the it was the best head he got and he felt powerful exerting his dominance over another man. Fast forward a bit he had a large stable of fags that he told me about and we always laughed about just having guys at our disposal. For a while everything was the same we worked out at the gym, hung out, and had fags help us with all the other work. But just this past month, Leo and Jack my two fags have been canceling on me saying they were too busy and just ignored me. One night I saw Leo leave Ray’s room at 3AM when I drove back from a party and realized they were serving him instead of me. I got pissed and confronted Ray about it but he just brushed me off saying it was their choice. Lately Ray has been just making comments how he can bench more than me and how good Leo serves him that annoys me that I just brushed off as banter. However, I’ve realized that lately he’s asked me to do a lot of things from getting dinner, driving him around, and last week he told me to give him a massage. I did everything just because we’re bros still but I’m getting the feeling now he’s trying to own me too. I’ve tried to get my mind off it because I don’t think I’m a beta or submissive, but I admire him because he’s smarter and has my goal phisique and I sort of strive to be like him. Now I’m conflicted in what I’m feeling an urge to not serve but help him but at the same time I thought I was a master so now I’m confused. So I’m not sure how to approach this now and I guess in a way figure out who I am?
