Crossroads 3
Hi Sam,
I wanted to write again because I feel more confused than ever. As of now I know I’m no longer an alpha, since I last wrote, I have served my frat friend and I can’t deny that an alpha would not do these things and it keeps playing on loop in my mind.
Earlier today we were supposed to hit the gym together but he invited me into his room and told me “How about you just rub and massage my soles, they’re so sore”. This was the first time I’ve ever worshipped feet so I was scared but for some reason I started growing hard feeling up his feet and smelling the stench coming off. Then he took off his shirt and said “God I’m so sweaty my pits and feet are drenched wish I had something to clean it all up” and looked at me in the eyes while I was rubbing his feet but I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact. He ended up telling me “You’re so obedient because you’re a faggot who wants to be used right” and forced me to look up at him. In that moment I felt so aroused I was fighting my cock from becoming too hard that he somehow read through my masculine facade but also how easy he manhandled me. But when he kept telling me “admit you’re a faggot” and “say yes sir I’m a faggot" and "come fucking faggot just admit who youre a faggot to me" I couldn't bring myself to do so. I felt so bad for disobeying but even though I was so turned on submitting to him I dont know if I'm a faggot. I think I enjoy submitting to strong men like him but I don't know if I want to be a faggot or if I am close to just being a beta instead. It feels to much is happening with my identity at once and while I want to keep serving him I don't know if I can tell him all of this. I'm scared of telling him or admitting I'm a faggot because what if he tells other people and no one ever respects me anymore. I just dont know how to satisfy my cravings as i want ti say for him because I can't deny I got so much harder in that session worshipping me him than ever without putting my image or myself at risk. If you have any advice Sam on how to proceed I would appreciate it.
