What is wrong with me

What’s is wrong with me Big Daddy?

Why do I want to be possessed, owned and controls by a superior man?

Even when I am sad feel like I am missing a strong Daddy to control me, possesses  me and own me.

yet I am stubborn and don’t given in. I get wishy washsy when letting a Dom come over, because I haven’t clean my self out for him properly yet, or I am scared.

I struggle to fully be taken and use as a submissive should. I am saved that there is a part of myself that I loss but love about myself.

Yet when I offer myself up and do follow through I don’t feel the presents of the Dom with me in the room.

i don’t know what so do with myself Sam, I am really struggling here, to let go and embrace submission on many levels.

Advise, ideas, thoughts on this. Would even take a Dom’s insight on this.