Fag son fulfilling alpha father’s request

Hi Sam,

We've talked previously and you've written about me/mentioned me on the podcast before. I went by the name Nick and have had my alpha father give me some guidance and blessing to be a faggot and I in turn seduced and served a neighbor and served him until he moved.

I have an update and need some advice.

My alpha father has cancer and it's not going well at all. When it first started to progress seriously, he took me aside and privately told me he wants me to find a man I can be with. An Alpha who I can fulfill as a good faggot and will instruct me well. I tried with a few men but nothing really stuck. Since then things have been made more difficult for a few reasons. First, my dad has in turn been seduced by evangelists and doesn't talk about the fag/Alpha stuff anymore. Second, I had a health scare a little while back and had to switch medication to something that caused me to gain a great amount of weight. It's been hard to find alphas who take me seriously at my weight and it's bringing me down because even though he's not admitting it, I feel like I'm failing my dad as a son and my purpose as a faggot.

Do you have any advice for me about where to meet alphas or how I can serve casually until I find a more serious relationship? I'm working on losing weight but it's a process and in the meantime I feel like I'm not serving my purpose. Also, do you know of a good way to talk to my dad again about this stuff? Its become really awkward since his new found devotion to religion.

Hope to hear from you soon!