Can Contradictions Exist in a Fag?

Hi Sam,

I’m a little bit confused internally. I am a bodybuilder. 6’1” and roughly 250lbs. I am also a fag. I has this constant internal tug of war feeling between the desire to build myself and feeling very masculine in the gym. With goals to improve my physique and get bigger, ultimately look more masculine. While at the same time I have the desire of a fag where I would drop to my knees in the middle of the gym and kiss an Alpha’s foot if he told me to. Having the desire to serve and be of service to Alphas. Can these two feelings coexist? I don’t think I can give either up, I love both but sometimes one feels like a betrayal of the other. Thanks!