How can I approach the Alpha? (In a homophobic country)

I know this is a very typical question, but I feel helpless here. I'm a faggot, living in a homophobic country and studying at a university (I'm 19). I haven't been able to get this guy out of my head for a year or so.

He is a real alpha. He's so charismatic, confident, a little arrogant. He can sometimes be embarrassed and shy, depending on the situation, but more often he behaves like a king and like everything is under his control.

I'm not sure if he's protective or destructive alpha tho. I heard, that he is caring in relationship, but anyway, he thinks he is better in some way than others. He can hit, if you cross the line. He and his friends even often fight with each other just for fun.

I always stared at him in the locker room and imagined how I could serve him. But the fact is that we barely talk to each other. We only say "hello" when we see each other. And.. I already tried to test the waters.

I asked one person to send him a message, so to speak, a "letter" from me with a confession. But so that I remain anonymous. This guy, the alpha, just laughed and said that he definitely did not need this. After some time I heard him and his friends discussing who it could be. And he clearly thought the situation was ridiculous and absurd. But, I think, he was a bit proud of himself, that he can attract boys too, haha.

I made a mistake. I confessed my feelings. I expected something more like a relationship. Something romantic. But I don't know if this could ever be possible. No one's know that it was me, who confessed. And I feel scared to do any more steps. I feel scared, even terrified, that someone will find out and start to bully me or something... The chances are high.

What should I do? Confess, that I'm okay with just being an obedient fag, not expecting anything romantic? Or just leave it behind, because my safety is a priority 1? I really need an advice, even if it's a stupid question.