Explaining faggotry to others

I’m reaching out for advice on how to handle conversations about being a fag, especially in contexts where I usually keep my kink life private, like with family.

Context: My boyfriend and I are in a long-term, consensual Dom/sub relationship. As part of our dynamic, I wear a chastity cage almost all the time. While we’re open about our relationship with trusted friends, we generally keep the kinkier details private from family and work.

What happened: We were at my boyfriend’s parents’ place with his family. I accidentally left my chastity cage lying around after cleaning it—my fault entirely. My boyfriend’s brother found it and made some remarks. My boyfriend wanted to address it honestly to prevent teasing, so we talked to his siblings. They were supportive, but their attitude caught me off guard.

Instead of surprise or curiosity, they treated it as completely normal—almost dismissively so. Their reactions were along the lines of “Of course you’re the submissive one,” “It makes sense our brother would lock you up,” and “Glad he finally found someone who consents to it.” It wasn’t malicious, but their absolute self-confidence made me feel uncomfortable. I found myself reacting emotionally, apologizing later, but their responses only reinforced that feeling of being objectified.

What I’m struggling with: How can I discuss my submissive side in these contexts without becoming flustered or reactive? I want to be able to calmly express that I am a faggot, that I serve my Man, our kinks and so on, without feeling like I’m losing control or being pushed into a role I didn’t agree to in that moment.

I’d really appreciate any advice on how to stay composed and communicate clearly in these situations, while staying true to myself and my dynamic with my boyfriend.

Thank you in advance for your support.

Best, Dave