Overdue Update

It’s been a long time since I’ve written bc I unfortunately couldn’t find ur X for a time but I wanted to provide an update to serving Grayson.

Since the last time I wrote it’s been relatively good serving him still but there have been a few developments that still have me in a limbo of sorts with Grayson. Since we’ve basically lived together a while now with me serving as basically his in apartment slave I’ve been quite happy waking up everyday and serving him and seeing him somehow get hotter and stronger has made me want to serve him even better. It’s almost a daily occurance now that I see him shirtless or in a towel from the shower yet each time I do my knees get weak and I feel the need to serve so bad and he’s definitely made use of me as I used to give him head almost everyday. However, he recently got a girlfriend recently and my use to him sexual wise has diminished and while I know I can’t compete with her it still feels demeaning and he hasn’t told her about me.

Furthermore, he’s grown more controlling and bold besides the apps monitoring and everything I’m a little scared I might be locked into semi permanent chastity. Before I was open to trying it but he agreed to let me do it on a week on week off basis anda biweekly basis but I’ve now been locked for 1.5 months and he’s refusing to give me the key. Previously despite serving Grayson I still was occasionally able to have my fun and top other guys with his permission but now all that is taken away and I’m scared he won’t ever let me out especially since I haven’t been able to get the same pleasure in serving him sexually either. This has come along with him taking most of my nice clothes in my wardrobe for himself and he’s been replacing them with more feminizing things like thongs briefs and jock straps I am forced to wear now and he went even as far one time making me kiss is shoe in a parking lot in public to prove his ownership in a way. A lot of the things I know he wants to push me out of my comfort zone but it feels so demeaning especially anything in public scared me and he still made me do it.

Even then I can’t deny how helpful Grayson has been to me in helping me grow as a person as he’s encouraged me and even got to the gym with me to help me grow stronger and even helped give me a push to apply for grad school. It feels like this balance of positive actions and just extreme degradation all the time that I can’t quite solve.

During some of these moments I’ve been talking to Ethan again who does make sure I’m still obedient to him and Grayson but has been consistently kind throughout everything even from the beginning and has in a way allowed me to give him head too and fill I guess a gap that I’ve been missing consistently. It feels strange but sometimes Ethan’s comfort makes me swell with a sort of emotion that makes me think I really like him but I know a relationship like boyfriend wise probably won’t happen due to a multitude of factors but also just the premise of me serving Grayson. I’m just in limbo right now I know my situation is great and I shouldn’t complain serving someone as hot and dominant as Grayson but the whiplash of serving him and I guess also confronting that I would be his slave for life locked up forever is daunting especially when Ethan has been so much kinder to me and is also an alpha. I know I’ve gone this can’t choose before already and can’t go back but I can’t deny I’ve developed feelings in a way for Ethan that I know shouldn’t have gone through and I’m unsure if I should tell him and how I can even begin to talk to Grayson about hoping to serve him more bc I know I don’t have a right to challenge his gf