Faggot Or Alpha Latency?
This post is part of a thread chronicling the rise of bisexual Apex Alpha Master Aaron, co-owner (with straight Master Michael) of a beautiful faggot named Shawn. CLICK HERE to read all of these posts in chronological order!
The ongoing training of Shawn, the faggot owned by Masters Aaron and Michael, has recently taken a sudden right-turn. I’m just going to let Master Aaron explain it first:
I’m having an interesting experience with the faggot Shawn. I’ve come across this issue with faggots before, but it’s interesting how deep it seems to go with him, and I thought you might want to hear about it. And I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.
On the surface, everything seems to be going well with him. He’s doing his chores, and is carrying out the training regime. The fag’s cunt is nicely dilated. Still feels great, but he’s basically always ready to take cock. Master Michael and I have turned up at his flat unannounced to use him, and he was more than ready to comply.
His oral skills are getting a little better. His technique is much improved but he’s got a long way to go deal with his gag reflex. I want him to be able to throat properly before I start showing him off and sharing him properly. But he’s been shared with a couple of friends, and performed well. And he’s coped well with challenges and humiliations that have been thrown his way by Master Michael and myself.
But there is an issue.
My issue with him is a psychological one. I’ve known from the start that there was something a little off with him. His reframing of a consensual event as a rape was a red flag to me. But it’s bothered me more how quickly he has embraced things. He seems, in some way, too eager, too willing to please. Especially for someone who so recently was living as straight.
Master Michael and I have put him through some stuff. Grindr days, public toilets, some introductory bondage. And he’s met it all willingly. Which sounds like it should be something to celebrate. But in my experience, a single cunting does not a life-long faggot make. The lack of any kind of resistance implies there is something else going on.
So, we got a friend of Master Michael’s, David, to spend time with the faggot. As far as Shawn knew, this was arranged to give him some training in cleaning and douching from another fag (David isn’t actually a faggot, but that’s another story). But the real purpose was to get Shawn to drop his guard in the hope he might say things that he wouldn’t say to his Masters, and David is very good at talking to people, and very good at reading people.
And without realizing it Shawn revealed rather a lot.
Without getting into the full conversation, when asked about his role as a faggot, Shawn kept using phrases like ‘I can take anything’ and ‘I’ll do whatever’. He mentioned ‘zoning out’ when he’s being used, and described a couple of his humiliations as ‘challenges’.
There were other things that David noticed, and many things that Shawn said. But a clear picture has emerged of what’s going on with the faggot. He’s got himself into a headspace where he has dissociated. He has separated himself from his role as a faggot, almost as if he sees being a faggot as a part he is playing, in order to protect some other part of himself that is more masculine and ‘not a faggot’.
He sees his faggotry as not really his true, core self. Not who he really is.And worse, I think, he sees it as a challenge. He has, paradoxically, come to see it as proof of his masculinity. It seems that he is telling himself that a ‘real man’ can take all this and not be changed by it. That if he can be trained and used and degraded and not be affected by it, and still hold on to this other view of himself, then that is some sort of proof or validation of his masculinity. That fundamentally, though he playing out the role of being a faggot, he is in fact not a faggot at all.
I can’t imagine the cognitive dissonance that must be causing for him.
But this is a problem for me and Master Michael. Because he could suck every cock in every toilet in Soho, and swallow all the cum in London, and he could be rutted from now until next Christmas – but if he doesn’t see himself as a faggot, then he doesn’t see me as his Master.
And that’s not good enough for me.
My challenge, and my gift to the faggot, is to find a way to make him embrace what he is.
So I did a little probing of my own. We took Shawn out to dinner on a ‘night off’, and got him to open up a little about his past.I’m no therapist, but I do know that a male’s sense of his self and his masculinity almost always comes from his relationship with his father. And Shawn’s is such cliche, it’s almost ridiculous. Shawn has a working class background. Small town. Not much money. His parent’s weren’t married, and his father was barely around when he was growing up. He was a ‘manly’ man, a professional football (soccer!) player for a while. But he was also, at times, a plumber, a factory worker and laborer. He’s a drinker, possibly an alcoholic. Usually in debt. And he is, and so it seems always has been, very dismissive of Shawn. When Shawn developed an interest in filmmaking and graphic design at a young age, his father asked him if he was gay. And he made it clear that he didn’t see it as real work. When Shawn first started dating girls, his father would ask what they saw in him, and if they couldn’t do any better. When he learned about Shawn’s instagram work, he was confused by it and said it was the kind of thing a faggot would do. But Shawn is desperate for his approval. Shawn wants to be seen by his father as a ‘man’. That is at the root, I think, of Shawn’s resistance to being a faggot. His father, who he craves validation from, defines Shawn as not being masculine. Shawn has a deep need to get his father to see him as a man. Which is why, I think, his instagram persona became so apparently alpha.
Shawn’s problem is that he is, in actual fact, a faggot. Someone his father would never validate. And that’s at the root of his dissociation.
As I said, I’ve come across faggots with similar issues before. But it seems to run very deep with Shawn. There’s possibly more to it. Time will tell.
My goal is to get the faggot to fully embrace his true self and to let go of this idea of who he thinks he wants to be. How that will be achieved isn’t clear yet, but I have some ideas. It’s partly an ego thing for me. I want to own him, body and mind. His body alone, though it is close to perfection, is not enough.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
After reading this, I couldn’t help but think of myself in Shawn’s situation. I had a Dad who thought my creative endeavors were stupid and unmanly, and he largely ignored me during my formative years. However, unlike Shawn, I want nothing to do with my Dad and I don’t want his approval. And, unlike Shawn, I’ve never had any doubts about my faghood from the get-go.
I was concerned while reading Master Aaron’s account of Shawn’s identity struggle. I also knew the coming storm of conditioning and training being formulated in the minds of the two Masters that would break Shawn and force him to accept faghood.
Here’s why I was concerned: I have a fair amount of experience in Alpha latency. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anybody documenting it before I started identifying the issue. But Alpha latency involves deep psychological conditioning in which a natural-born Alpha is molded into serving as a faggot (for any number of reasons) and lives miserably as a faggot because it runs counter to what he truly is – an Alpha. The dissonance created by that identity struggle is real and can be quite intense.
I was worried that Shawn might be a latent Alpha. I didn’t want the Masters to proceed with breaking Shawn down until they could ascertain whether Shawn was really a faggot.
They agreed to try my little test. Here’s what happened:
He’s definitely a faggot.
We arranged to have another fag over for Shawn to use this evening. He said he was excited about it. Initially he seemed to be into the whole thing, but it gradually became apparent that it just wasn’t doing that much for him, and only really came alive again when he was presenting himself to us as a fag.
Afterward he apologised and asked if he’s let us down. I reassured him that no, I’m just trying to assess the full scope of his nature.
I know it’s just one encounter, but I’ve seen all I need to see. He’s a fag, his place is on his knees, and he knows it. I just want him to own it.
Boy, that made me feel better! Masters Aaron and Michael are Apex and truly powerful, and I didn’t want them tearing down parts of Shawn that were intrinsic to his nature. But now that their test has revealed that Shawn is a faggot living inside a phony Alpha veneer, that veneer can be broken and pulled apart through training and discipline.
I’m so glad there are careful, meticulous, and thoughtful Apex Alpha Masters like them out there helping faggots become the truest versions of themselves!
