Faggot-gasm

I'm faggot joe. I've written before and you have given me incredible advice. Thanks for that! More importantly thank you for all you do to educate about the ways things are. I am a middle aged male who denied his true identity for years, pretending to be a straight man, fucking women. Then I found your content and you helped me accept my true self, a faggot. And i went from a guy in denial to a proud faggot. You helped me accept my role as someone who wants to give pleasure to real men, and to find joy in it. I'll never forget my first real long term Alpha who early on, recorded the happiness on my face just from being shown his cock in a video chat and how that was beautiful evidence of what truly makes me happy.

I'm writing today sam because I had a breakthrough with having a sissygasm. I've trained myself very well to be limp when I serve, and when I get fucked. Honestly it seems like my dicklet's natural state. My life doesn't lend itself to being locked up. But I always keep my penis in a jock and hidden from view or attention when I am fulfilling my faggot purpose (unless the Alpha wants it in view for some reason). My tiny dick is a reason for being a faggot I think, or just a physical manifestation of my inferiority as a man. It's laughable to think I could ever top or even want to. I never cum now when having sex. Sometimes the Aloha I'm serving will ask me to jack off afterwards. So always obey. Often I'll masturbate sometime afterwards on my own. Once during the first overnight I had with with my then long time alpha I slipped under the covers at first light and began worshipping his beautiful cock, waking him up as his cock responded to my wet lips mouth and tongue. His first words to me were "you are such a faggot" as he chuckled and enjoyed my work. He put me in such a glorious subspace my orgasm burst out of me mid cocksucking. I ignored it of course and brought him to completion but it felt so good!

I've been working on having a more proper "sissygasm" meaning not coming from stimulating my dicklet like a man's penis. I'm still chasing the hands free orgasm from being fucked (and I hope it will happen someday but hasn't yet).

I have a small penis that is uncut with a lot of foreskin. Thanks to that when my dick is limp I can stimulate just the foreskin as if it was a clit, and still have it be limp. I love that I stay limp when getting fucked and even now as I attempt to masterbate when alone. Part of the work is to put myself as deep as possible into subspace, a concept I learned of course from you. A faggot's erogenous zones are mouth, asscunt, and most important, brain. Because of my anatomy I think I also get the bonus of clitty thanks to that foreskin. I hope to have it in a fufu clip soon so I can present it as a true clitty to any Alphas who may be pleased by that.

So, here's what happened. I've gone 7 weeks without an orgasm since I was trying to have one without treating my dicklet like a cock (no stroking, jacking etc. that's for real men). I felt like if I didn't empty my prostate soon I would be in trouble. I don't think it's healthy to let that happen.

Finally last night, I was in deep subspace, immersed in all the wonderful content you provide and just focusing in my head about all that faggotry entails. I was focusing intently on the service I've been privileged to give Alphas since I took the plunge to accept my true self, while lightly stimulating my flacid clitty as if it was a woman's clit. AND IT HAPPENED! i suddenly felt like I needed to pee and then huge spurts of fluid came out of me that was far more like a women's orgasm then anything resembling what comes from a man when he cums. It was very wet and opaque (no pee). There was so much! And it wasn't thick and strong like a man's cum. Didn't taste like what used to come out of me when I was a pretend pretend straight.

sam, this feels momentous to me, like I had my first faggot gasm. Love turned the page to a new way of being.

Of course now the dream is to have this happen while I'm getting fucked by an Alpha, especially if it is pleasing to him.

I have YOU to thank for all of this, sam. Your guidance has brought me here. Thank you.