Hometown Update
It’s been a while since my last update and I have a lot to talk about. I mentioned last time that Grayson had downloaded a monitoring app on my phone and it had made it difficult to write these messages in secret since he can monitor my screen so I have resorted to writing these secretly at work. I wish I could upload photos to show you but I don’t know where to share them without giving out my information. His control has taken over further and I’m subjected to screen time limits and since I need my phone for work I have to finish “tasks” he gives for me to raise my screen time such as sucking him off, wedging myself, or putting on panties. Most of it so humiliating but I have to do it to use my phone but one of the different ones is going to the gym unlocks more time for me and I’ve seen myself actually tone up a bit. He’s even helped me actually become more focused at work and my craft with my restriction to different apps and everything is so strange like I’m somehow improving myself but I’m still subject to his humiliation and it’s driving me insane how productive but also degrading serving him has been.
You might also be wondering what happened to other alpha I was serving and to that degree Grayson has completely cut me off and they work in tandem now if I ever seek any other alpha besides Grayson I get punished. It’s really been demeaning and restricting to me, yet despite all of it sometimes I wake up on the floor of my apartment to serve Grayson and it feels right? Two things stood out to me that made me realize my predicament. The first was when I was serving Grayson and his friends at his house and one of them asked me “how are you so obedient” and without even thinking the words “because I’m here to please him” left my mouth without thinking like it was natural. While the second was I started dreaming, yes dreaming, about being chastity and just sucking his cock when previously I swore to myself chastity was something I wouldn’t do.
I thought my first interactions were conflicting but now I’m even more conflicted and don’t necessarily know how to approach such a convo with him and also really submit myself further. But one thing stands true which is his cock is genuinely unmatched. I’ve tried having up sex other people, fucking or giving head secretly but none of them really makes me act up the way he does. To reference your term you said about him being a “destroyer alpha” sometimes it feels like he is but others it feels like he’s also helping me become better just a very weird experience.
