Lost in my identity.

Hi Sam. I’m 24 years old, I live in Poland, and I’m a trans woman.

I’ve been listening to your podcast since 2021 and I’ve been into hierarchy since I was 15. I’ve always been very feminine and attracted dominant men. At some point, I decided to transition because I wanted to fit in and not be bullied for being a sissy faggot.

But these things still turn me on. I met my Master in 2023 and I’ve been serving him since then.

However, I feel like he was more sexually attracted to me when I was a more effeminate faggot. Now, I’m an attractive woman.

On one hand, I feel good about my femininity, but I miss the adrenaline and the sexual tension.

Sometimes I think about detransitioning so he would use me more intensely again, and so I could feel like a pathetic slut again. I miss that.

But he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a man. Not even a trans woman. He’s forcing himself to look for a woman, even though he prefers men. He wants to be accepted by our intolerant society.

I’m not really sure what I’m asking you for. Maybe some advice.

Should I leave him, or should I adapt to his needs?

I don’t know what to do.