Missing the attention of my straight friend
Hey, how’s it going?
I am Henry, 20 yo, and i am going through something and what’s better than asking advice online, am i right? Firstly i want to apologize for typos in advance, english isn’t my first language.
It has been a few months since i started at the gym and figured out i am just a weak boy desperate for some male muscular attention, i have to control myself so hard when i am working out because those beefy men make me so fucking weak. I have no sexual experience, actually not even social skills at all, so i find very hard to interact with men in real life, and we can say where i live it’s not a very homosexual friendly place.
All of that lead me to try to find someone interesting in the internet. Going through some forums i actually met a very interesting guy in a masculinity topics. Our initial conversation were about gym and other typical manly stuff, i love letting men talk about that it. But pretty quickly our conversation turned into him actually showing off to me and boy… i dream about those muscles every day and night. I said to him how i had the desire of a homoerotic friendship with a straight man and he actually liked the idea and started talking freely about sexual topics and showing off to me, and always asked if his body made me horny. It did, it really did. Not only his body was amazing but i loved how he guided the conversations, how he were such an alpha in the way he chatted and i loved raising his ego. It was so good being in that place that nothing else would make me sexually excited. Soon he started been even more incisive (is that the right word?) and began to be a real alpha, he said things like “i am sure i am all you ever wanted to be”, said he knew he would have control over me easily and played saying i should get on my knees, that gave me actual chills even though it was just a text.
Things got even more intense when he started sending pictures specifically based in what i said were some of my interests (armpit, flexing after workout, …) and asked if i jerk off thinking about his body. I didn’t confess to him at first because i thought it was a bit weird, but after some time he really insisted and sent me so many hot pictures that i couldn’t resist and i did it and confessed to him. He said it made him feel very good and even more comfortable to talk to me and i also felt very good of being in that position.
But ever since, we barely talked anymore. We talked about some other stuff but sexual topics were never brought back again. It has been almost a month and i am feeling so sad about that, i really need his attention and it’s killing me not being put in my place once again. I hate feeling like i might have done something wrong and i know that sometimes people just change their interests, but i had to come here and ask for some advice, i can't stop thinking about that.
