Older faggots

The question about older faggots being used was extremely timely for me.  I am an older faggot.  Frankly I am just plain old.

I have become re-acquainted with an Alpha that for a one year period would not acknowledge me via texting .  Suddenly he is communicating with me.  I was so desperate I immediately sent him money.  Than in a flurry of communicating he agreed to visit me and for the duration of short weekend he would take over my apartment.  This would be our first physical contact.  I immediately sent him funds to pay / reimburse for cost of plane ticket. He has detailed the exact type of cigars he wants me to provide during his visit.  This visit is to occur five weeks from now.

I recently moved to a new apartment and I have procrastinated in putting my possessions in order.  Also, the apartment building may be uncomfortable for the Alpha.  I have sent him pictures.  He has told me what to arrange to put in better order.  But certain things are beyond my control, eg working elevators.

The Alpha has been very clear.  He expects to be serviced and he expects a wallet. Both concern me.  Am I too old to serve to his expectations?  Am I being a real loser by being an open wallet?

I am desperate.  But I am seriously wondering if I should swallow pride and fully admit I am too old and too nervous to be a “wallet”.  From the beginning. I have told this Alpha my true age and sent fotos.

I am reading you daily .  I hope a response.  Hopefully my question will be of interest to other old fags.