Oliver The Faggot
Dear brother Sam,
Thanks for your interest in my submission journey. Although I already saw myself as a faggot, I have to admit that being referred to as "Oliver The Faggot" made me realize how right and true to my nature it feels. This also made me understand that, if I am truly committed to serving my boyfriend, I should start talking about him like the Alpha that he is becoming. To avoid using his real name, I will refer to him as Alpha Javi.
As I told you in my last message, I have completely stopped masturbating after Alpha Javi fucks me, and although he has noticed, he has not made any attempts to help me come. It had always been clear to both of us that his pleasure had to be prioritized and that he always had to come first. Well, now this has evolved into a completely new dynamic: The only reason for having sex is for Alpha Javi to come, and sex finishes as soon as he does.
This lack of release has made my balls grow and become enormous, which is now making my smaller-than-average dick look even tinier by comparison. I read in one of your posts that you don't think that the dick size is correlated to our roles in the hierarchy, but it's curious how size plays an important role in my dynamic with Alpha Javi. He is way taller and more muscular than me, which allows him to grab me and hold me down while he fucks me even if I want him to slow down. His dick is also very big, around 8 and 9 inches. This makes it quite painful to take at first, making me scream when he pushes himself inside me, but it also helps me feel his dominance in a physical sense. My body tries to resist and instinctively moves during his first thrusts, but as he holds me and continues to fuck me violently, there's always a point when I can feel how my hole gives up and all my muscles shut down, fully embracing his cock and letting him cunt me. I think Alpha Javi also enjoys seeing my little penis bounce when I'm riding him, slowly leaking precum, knowing that I could not use it to properly fuck anyone even if I tried.
I have now gone a week without masturbating or cumming, and I am starting to struggle with it. I started hitting the gym more often to help me release some of the frustration, but Alpha Javi was not very pleased to see the muscle pump in my arms after my workouts. For the first time since I met him, he was vocal about the changes in my appearance, saying that he did not like how the muscles in my upper body were getting bigger, and he suggested that I should focus on my butt instead. He told me that my butt was my best asset, and said that he would like to see it become even rounder. I have always known that he had a kink for disproportionately big butts, as he follows guys like Michael Walker and Michael Boston on Instagram, but him telling me is the trigger that I needed to work on mine. The next day he sent me a link to a workout plan that only includes glutes and cardio exercises.
Although the workouts are helping, not cumming is proving to be quite painful, and Alpha Javi does not seem interested in touching my dick. Do you think I should ask him to milk me sometimes, or should I masturbate but make sure to ruin my orgasm so that he remains the only one that gives me pleasure?
Oliver The Faggot
