Questioning Chastity

My name is John. My friends call me Johnny (and you can, too 😉). I’m a huge fan of your work. I’ve been following your work for probably about 6 years now, and it’s been very eye opening. I’ve been feeling conflicted lately and finally decided to get in contact with you. I apologize in advance for the novel ahead of you.

For some context, ever since I was a young boy, I’ve always had feelings for other boys/men. As I got older (around 12/13), I started to feel attraction towards the other boys around me. I was constantly trying to sneak peaks at their crotches in class and the hallways and at the other boys changing while in the locker room without understanding why. As I got older, I only seemed to get hornier.

I would regularly spend hours in my bedroom jerking off multiple times a day to gay porn and just thinking of boys at my school. I had always been a very shy kid, and so I never dared act on my feelings or urges growing up. It wasn’t until I went off to college that I started experimenting more with my sexuality now with my newfound independence (still only in privacy of my own company). When I was 18, I bought my first fleshlight. And, although it always felt good the few times I stuck my penis into it and used it, I never felt a desire to use it much. The thought of some other, more endowed guy using always turned me on more.

When I was 19, I stumbled upon male chastity cages online. They deeply intrigued me to my core. I began becoming very interested in sub-dom relationships and the concept of “faggotry” and the new concept of “male hierarchy.” That’s when I happened across your content and podcast.

I bought my first chastity cage around that time at 19. It was a very cheap one and didn’t work well. I used it once or twice in private, but was disappointed with how it worked. As I got into my very early twenties, I decided to experiment again with different kinds of chastity devices. I learned about myself that I liked a chastity cage that would completely cover my entire penis as to prevent any outside stimulation (except for a pee hole, of course). I then began buying numbing creams and lubing up the inside of the cage to keep my penis numb for hours.

As time went on, I began to have “masturbation sessions” by locking my penis more and more often and only using a dildo on myself for hours at a time. Admittedly, there were some days when I would use a dildo on myself (while in chastity) from sunrise to sunset. I came to view myself more and more as a “faggot” but still find it hard to identify as such.

Although I love anal play on myself, I always ended up needing to remove the cage at the end of sessions to finish myself off to get rid of my pent-up horniness. I find it incredibly hard to concentrate on literally anything when I’m locked and horny despite absolutely loving the feeling. I can’t think straight and I feel I act irrationally when really horny and can’t release it. The longest I’ve been locked for is 5 days (even at night). I use a strap to prevent the cage from tugging on my balls. Part of me would love to be a good locked boy 24/7/365, but I don’t see how that would be possible practically with how horny I get when I get no release. I feel it would also make it challenging to perform my job. To clarify, I do (on occasion) go out in public in my cage and I love the feeling.

I’ve never served any so-called “alphas” as I’ve always been too afraid. I’m not super skinny nor am I “ripped” by any means. I have an average body and a decent sized penis when not locked. I’ve been told I’m good looking, but I still lack confidence to do anything with anyone else in the real world. I’ve had sex with one other boy before, but it was never more than “vanilla.”

I’m 24 now when writing this. I apologize for the novel I just wrote. I simply wanted to give you as much background context as concisely as I could manage. Part of me feels a strong urge to know what it feels like to take a cock into my mouth and butt and feel it explode within me. Through all your content and podcasts, I’ve been inspired with your own journey. You seem to have been locked for years with little issue. I guess I don’t know where to go from here or if I should even act on these feelings. Part of me still really enjoys jerking off, but another part of me feels I should lock up and stop stroking like how real Men do. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t deserve to use my penis like a Man would. I don’t know. I feel conflicted.

I know through your podcasts you recommend channeling pent-up horniness through service, but that simply has not been an option for me up until now. Part of me wishes I could lock up, throw away the key, and forgot about cumming, but the more logical side of me knows that I need other outlets to release my horniness. I have an extremely high libido. I don’t know what to do.

Would locking up for long periods negatively affect my penis? Would it shrink or become impotent? Honestly, the thought of that kind of turns me on, but I don’t know. What effects could I expect? Is it even possible to stay locked like that indefinitely? How would I even release my pent-up horniness? How is it even possible to derive sexual satisfaction without cumming through only servitude? These are all questions I ask myself. I’m at a bit of a loss at this point in my life, and I’m unsure of how to proceed. I would greatly appreciate hearing your thoughts on my situation and what I can do to solve these issues.

Thank you for your great content throughout the years, and keep up the good work, Sam!

Your follower,

Johnny