Questioning my place in hierarchy and other stuff

Hey Sam, Im Gabe, a 20yo mexican guy that has been following you since 2020
First I wanted to say how grateful I am for you being able to hve this place where you educate and help others discovering the hierarchy
I read about Master José, and I must admit I was interested, but there is a problem. Im sure Im submissive, but Im not sure Im a faggot. I found myself imagining me in the place of many faggots you have help, but a the same time I dont act so submissive in my daily life
I also havent meet a Dom/Alpha irl, and honestly the few I have found online were Alpha Destroyers (and I really have the means to serve in the way others do online). So I hope Master José lives close to my town
Also Im really anxious about even start dating (something I want to work on this year) so Its difficult for me to imagine me openly searching for an Alpha
On the other end Im really romantic and I also want to have a relationship and a bf, I masturbate a lot (my dick, not my ass), but maybe this is because Im an untrained faggot?

Also important, Im a med student so I feel like I dont have enough time to properly serve an Alpha, but I could still be wrong
And sorry for the long question, but there really was so much I think I had to explain, I hope you can help me and give advice