Hello Sam!

I’m a submissive boy from Iran. I’m 31 years old and married. My wife knows about my desires and sometimes dominates me it feels nothing for me. It feels so fake. I considered myself straight all my life and I wanna submit to a dominant woman in my dreams but finding a real one seems impossible specially where I live.

I’m your long time reader and alpha men and hierarchy idea really turns me on and I think it’s true. There is a natural hierarchy between men

But here is my problem, whenever I tried to approach or have any kind of erotic or sexual or service based contact with an alpha man I feel turned off by the body and the look and voice and…. Of those men. I’m submissive who craves for power to worship but I can’t find it in women and I can’t enjoy serving men. So I’m confused. Am I a faggot? And if I am what should I do? I tried contacting alpha men few times but each time I felt sick in stomach after our first meeting. And gave it up. Your wisdom and help is well needed and appreciated bro

Thank you so much for the question!!

I dearly love hearing from faggots and others from the Middle East. It crushes me to know my fag brothers and others (like you) who don’t conform to the restrictive sexual rules of that region. I worry all the time about those faggots who might never find fulfillment and/or lose their lives in the Middle East. If you’ve been reading me for a long time, you’ll know I rescued a kid (18-years-old) from Syria that I met through the earliest version of this site. He almost died getting out, but he was determined not to suffocate emotionally there and/or be killed. And there was no way I could let that happen, either.

So that’s my perspective when I get the rare chance to speak with someone like you, my friend. Just know there are people like me who desperately want you to be happy, fulfilled, and safe!

Just reading your question, I tend to think you’re not a faggot, but rather a “beta-sub” on the hierarchy chart. Your wife is trying to dominate you (which is commendable on her part), but we all know it’s ridiculous when females try to be dominant. You want an Alpha to dominate you properly, but you’re simply not turned on by the male body.

So what’s the answer? I think it might be good for you to try being a domestic submissive for an Alpha. That’s nonsexual, but still fulfills your desire to serve and be useful to more powerful Men. In addition, such service would probably be safer for you.

Try it, and see if that helps, my friend! My heart is with you!

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Hey Sam,

Thank you very much for your reply, it was a good read and a pleasant surprise to get not just a reply but get it so quickly too!

I have two further questions if you don’t mind

1. How, specifically, would you differentiate a beta sub and a faggot? I’ve read your descriptions for both, but honest the beta sub description sounds very similar to the faggot one but more critical lol.
2. Do you have any advice on how on earth I’d be able to find a dommish partner who is alright with no sex? Feels like an impossible task but I really don’t want to be alone forever. Just want a guy who will rub his sweaty socks on my face in a dom way, have slight control over the reigns in the relationship, AND is okay with no sex. Maybe this question is outside the content of this website though, if so just ignore it if you want.

Thanks again!

This is a follow-up to THIS QUESTION.

Thanks for writing again!

1. The primary difference between a beta-sub and a faggot is the fact that a faggot is more of a slave or object, a possession. A beta-sub is a partner in a relationship, with certain rights and independence and a stake in it. Hopefully that clears it up.

2. I think you will have a hard time finding a partner, honestly. There simply aren’t many Dom Men (even  slightly dominant) who aren’t interested in sex. Frankly, your insistence on these sexualized acts makes me think you aren’t fully asexual. Any asexual people I’ve known want NOTHING to do with sexual acts of ANY kind. So I think you have some soul searching to do on this. 

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Hi Sam,

I’ll be honest, your philosophy really intrigues me (much to the horror of my heart lol) but I feel like I don’t fit into your hierarchy at all.

Basically, I’m asexual, kind of. I refuse to partake in anything traditionally seen as sex/sexual (anal, bjs, hjs, rimming, etc) because I am sex-repulsed. But, I still get turned on by dominance (and feet/socks lol) and wish to enter a relationship with a slight power imbalance with my partner as the dom.

I wanted to know if you think I still fit into the hierarchy, or if I exist separately from it? Apologies if this is too vague, but I really want to know what you think.

Thanks,

Thank you for writing! 

Believe it or not, I have some personal experience with asexuality. My precious Baby Boy, the kid I rescued from Syria, is also asexual. We sort of discovered this about him over long conversations, and he finally came to accept this about himself. I’m so proud of him (and you) for embracing this unusual aspect of your lives!

As far as asexuality in Hierarchy is concerned, you’re misunderstanding something. Hierarchy is not a SEXUAL structure of societal composition, but rather a way to understand the POWER and SOCIAL INFLUENCE aspects of societal composition. 

Now, sex DOES come into play (due primarily to the power play aspects of sexual encounters), but sexual orientation, sexual position, or sexual preference has nothing to do with where we are Hierarchically. 

If I had to guess without knowing more than what you told me, I’d say you are a “beta-sub” on my chart. That’s a comfortable place to be for a sub-leaning asexual! I hope that helps!  

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I’m glad I was able to find you again Sam as I followed your fags worship alphas site and wondered what happened when you disappeared.  My question is for further clarification on the difference between fags and betas. I love to suck cock and serve dominant alpha guys but a part of me feels drawn to being fully and sexually submissive. Does that make me beta?

I’m glad you’ve found me again, brother! Thank you! 

Faggots are essentially slave males. They don’t have natural rights like most other males; they belong to Men and Alphas to use as they will. A faggot has a need to be enslaved and used by Alphas without choice or question.

Submissive/bottom betas (beta-subs) are autonomous males who do not have a slave mentality and are simply more comfortable being fucked. It’s more of a sexual position rather than an entire lifestyle.

Hopefully that clears up your question.

As for you, I think you sound more like a faggot based on what you mentioned. However, you can try to use my book “Are You A Faggot?” (check out the link in the “Book Store” section). It’s designed to help you answer this yourself.  

Have a question? CLICK HERE to ask!