I’m a half black, half white sub-bottom married to a very vanilla non-dominant top who has no idea I’m into being dominated with raceplay. I have chatted with a local white dom who wants to own me and use me. But, I’ve never had sex outside my relationship (unless phone-boning counts). Part of me wants to do it to serve a master who understands my place in society. But, it’s obviously wrong to do this to my husband. Can you help?!

My first question is this: if you knew this Top wasn’t what you needed or wanted, why are you with him? People, if we are getting into relationships with others, we need to go into them honest with ourselves and honest with our partners.

Which leads me to the second point: you haven’t discussed your needs with your boyfriend. You say he’s “non-dominant” and that might be true … but by not even talking to him about it, you’re robbing him of the chance to even try to be the type of Man you want. 

So I think you know where I’m heading with this. I don’t think you should run off behind your boyfriend’s back and serve this white Master. Your boyfriend is trusting you and not doing anything deserving of such betrayal. Instead, go to him and discuss your needs honestly. If he can’t do it, then end the relationship so you can be free to find a Man who will.

And hopefully you’ll also learn from this.

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