Hello Sam, fellow fag here, I hope this finds you well.

Firstly, I must start by thanking you for your wonderful work over the years. I was a reader back when FWA was still a thing. I also thank you for being candid with your own struggles, personal and legal, and standing up to fascism. While this is a space for domination and submission it is still important to be principled in every aspect of your being. I hold tremendous respect for you.

Before I get to my question here is some context: I’ve dipped my toes at various levels with submission, exclusively online. I did get close to meeting in person but I chickened out. In fact I threw my cage away. And I’ve done that a few times now. I get scared and want to distance myself from the fag inside me. Inevitably though I always return. I know it stems from some trauma I still carry and I’m neurodivergent.

Now I have the opportunity to reach out to that alpha again. I know I don’t deserve his attention but he was damn good as my Daddy. Equally I don’t want to insult him by crawling back (for the third time). He deserves better.

I do find myself in a better headspace though and I’ve managed to beat my previous chastity lockup record and counting. Additionally, I do struggle to find the right connections with alphas that can accommodate my disability.

My queries for you are:

Could you offer advice on how to conquer that fear?
What would you suggest to fags that want to run away instinctively?
Is there a way to make things good with my Daddy? Should I even attempt it?
Do you have any external resources that you think would help unowned fags beyond content on this website?

Thank you for this opportunity to ask and I will keep following in the hope of becoming a better fag. Even if this doesn’t get a response please continue your hard work.

Many thanks,

subnameddom (I’m aware of the irony)

Thank you for writing, brother.

The issue you describe is pretty common, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much over it. Faggots are pretty vulnerable, so it’s understandable. 

I do think the online service stuff (like findom, etc.) exacerbates this problem. When a person gets comfortable in safety behind a computer screen, the simple act of meeting with someone in person becomes much more difficult. The same goes for masturbating to porn or Alphas online. The disconnect between the easy online fantasy and real-life interaction makes it harder to come out and live honestly in realtime. 

I’m not sure how to fix it, honestly, because at some point the solution involves you simply embracing what you need to do and then doing it. There’s no magic formula for this part. You either want it badly enough to take action, or you don’t. It’s just like the countless people out there dreaming of starting a business, but never do. They enviously watch YouTube videos of people finding success, all the while growing bitter because those people took the action they didn’t. You see what I mean?

I do think it’s bad that you’re wasting this long-suffering Alpha’s time with your indecisiveness. He seems like a good Master who deserves better. I’m not trying to make you feel bad by saying that, brother. I just want you to appreciate what’s at stake. 

If you want this to come true, then you need to say “fuck it” and just go do it. You’ll never know how it feels to actually serve and be owned by a truly superior Man until you TRY. 

I’m rooting for you, brother. I really am. I wish I had a magic wand that could make it happen for you, but life wants us to earn our fulfillment. So go grab it while you still can! 

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