I’m a half black, half white sub-bottom married to a very vanilla non-dominant top who has no idea I’m into being dominated with raceplay. I have chatted with a local white dom who wants to own me and use me. But, I’ve never had sex outside my relationship (unless phone-boning counts). Part of me wants to do it to serve a master who understands my place in society. But, it’s obviously wrong to do this to my husband. Can you help?!

My first question is this: if you knew this Top wasn’t what you needed or wanted, why are you with him? People, if we are getting into relationships with others, we need to go into them honest with ourselves and honest with our partners.

Which leads me to the second point: you haven’t discussed your needs with your boyfriend. You say he’s “non-dominant” and that might be true … but by not even talking to him about it, you’re robbing him of the chance to even try to be the type of Man you want. 

So I think you know where I’m heading with this. I don’t think you should run off behind your boyfriend’s back and serve this white Master. Your boyfriend is trusting you and not doing anything deserving of such betrayal. Instead, go to him and discuss your needs honestly. If he can’t do it, then end the relationship so you can be free to find a Man who will.

And hopefully you’ll also learn from this.

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Hey there. Very new follower here but love the site, been reading/listening for the last few days nonstop. Glad to have found other fags that understand hierarchy and I’ve learned a lot.

You have any tips on making an alpha feel comfortable being assertive and aggressive? I have an alpha that seems to shy away from being too rough with me, despite me telling him I enjoy it. I’m not sure he understands how strong my desire to submit to him is, and that he should prioritize his needs above mine. He says he likes it rough but he is definitely holding back.

Hi brother, thanks for writing.

I’ve gotten this question a few times, and I am also wrestling with this issue with a pre-Alpha friend of mine as well. It seems like such an obvious and easy thing to us as faggots because we have this idea that all Men are cauldrons of dominant aggressiveness. Of course, almost all Men (and Alphas) are plagued by the same insecurities, fears, and societal pressures that we all face. Some Men (like my friend and yours) are just really nice people who genuinely don’t want to be hurtful or selfish. We have to understand that about them, as well as the possibility that it’s simply not in them to be more aggressive.

On the other hand, I’ve also successfully advised some faggots on how to ignite dominance within their Alphas, so I know in some Alphas this timidity can be overcome. My advice is this: stop complaining to him about how passive he is, since this causes anxiety. Instead, ramp up your submission to him. Always seek to position yourself physically lower and at his feet. Become more subservient and agreeable. Rub and kiss his feet. When he fucks you, put yourself in the most submissive positions and make him feel like he’s a sexual god.

In other words, make him feel like a King. What I’ve seen happen is this type of deep submission brings out the hunting instinct in Alphas, and eventually they’ll want to pounce. Now this isn’t usually something that happens immediately, so you need to remain patient and focused. I’ve seen this approach work, so have faith in the process and hopefully you’ll see success.

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