Hi there Sam, for the sake of anonymity my name is Tom, I’m 19 and in uni in the usa. I’ve been following your site since I was in like middle school? Highschool maybe? And I’ve always found the content really hot but I always thought I was just a horny teen. (Btw thanks for keeping it free I really appreciate it). But eventually I realized I was a real f@g and read as much of your blog as I could, even digging to find your old site when it was shut down. But anyways to my actual question.

I’m sure get this question about how to serve a lot and I’ve seen some of your replies and tried to do that (Grindr, recon, blowers) but I haven’t found anyone who really understands the hierarchy. I’m scared to find someone in person but at this point it’s not even that I want to but I can’t. I’ve tried online but as a uni student I don’t have any money to send for findom.

One thing I’ve tried is offering my services as a graphic designer, assistant, or homework slave online but they always ghost me after one or two assignments. Do you know any other ways I could try serving? Or even any alphas in school who would need a fag like me to serve them?

Thanks for writing to me after so long! I’m always wowed when I hear from youngsters who have been reading me since they were practically boys! Such a huge responsibility!

I’m proud of you for making attempts to submit to Alphas at uni! However, what you’re doing is very safe and simple and largely risk-free. 

You need to keep in mind that college Alphas are HORNY and FULL OF TESTOSTERONE. They all want service and worship. So you can often be much bolder and direct with them.

Get into a conversation with an Alpha and start it with this: “Do you consider yourself to be Alpha?” This almost always leads to conversations about Hierarchy. I did this in prison, so you can do it in uni. Use the pyramid diagram here to highlight hierarchy.

You can also use resources like “Letter To An Alpha” to explain things for you.

It simply requires bravery and boldness. You can do this!

Hello,

My name is Jon. I’m in my late 30s—5’10″, 155 lbs, average/fit build—and I live in Washington, D.C.

I’ve been part of the gay scene for about 20 years, but I’ve still not found what I’ve been deeply craving: the opportunity to truly submit to someone. I’ve tried, but honestly, I haven’t had much luck. I’ve encountered so many fakes and flakes over the years, and as I get older, I worry that it’s becoming even harder to find what I’m looking for. That thought breaks my heart.

At the same time, I have fears about family finding out and being disappointed in me. I dream of finding someone—a friend or boyfriend—who I can have a “normal” relationship in public, while privately being able to fully submit to them.

Just to share a little background: I was raised in an African culture and often felt more comfortable spending time with girls because I didn’t feel “man enough.” Even back then, I think I knew something about myself that I just couldn’t express. There are many moments in my life where I’ve shown my true colors.  but I’ve never been bold enough to admit anything because of my family.

I’m sorry if I’m rambling. I guess I’m just hoping for some guidance—or maybe, even, for someone out there to consider giving me a chance.

Thank you so much for reading.

Jon, thanks for writing!

I really can hear the frustration eating you up inside, and I feel for you. For African cultures, there’s enormous pressure on males to conform to certain masculine expectations. That can be overwhelming, and almost choke you to death.

But you are not alone in this. We all deal with these pressures in one way or another.

Honestly, trying to live life as a true faggot is very hard because much of gay culture dismisses faghood as a fetish, and not a serious state of being. So we are sometimes even ostracized by our own “community”. 

But to be blunt, the solution to your issue lies INSIDE YOU. You need to learn to let go of these family pressures (because they ultimately mean nothing) and take responsibility for your own path and happiness. 

Finding a Master is a process of trial and error, but it can be done. Apps like Grindr, TheBlowers.com, Recon, and others can get you access to Alphas, and from there you can start making connections. I’d recommend that you start submitting to Alphas you know in your everyday life, but you don’t sound ready for that.

There’s no magic bullet here. It just takes working on yourself and trying your best to submit both publicly and privately to Men. It will lead to success, but nothing will happen until you heal the family issues holding you back.

I read the question and answer about cunting and it made me wonder about femdom implications.  I know a local female domme who also does double with a male domme.  Her clients are not faggots per se but more so beta males, or beta sissys.  How does cunting apply in a situation like this that starts with a femdom theme and beta males?

Thanks for the question!

Cunting is a physical/emotional experience when a sub male is fucked by a Man, and is not exclusive to faggots. So beta males can be cunted as well if they are properly broken and fucked.

Hi brother. I have been avidly consuming your site over the past few months and it has really opened my eyes to the fact that I am a faggot and born to serve superior alpha men. That fact has been playing itself out through online findom for me over the past few years. I have dipped in and out of that and served a few masters online though I always felt that it was insincere on their part. They were conventionally attractive straight guys using it as an easy way to make money. About a year ago however I started to serve a new master who is different. He is young and straight and incredibly handsome. More than that though he thrives on power and control. I’ve sent him a lot of money over the past year but also had such deep conversations about myself and him as well. I’d categorise him as an apex alpha and definitely as a protector.  I’m more open with him than I am with anyone else. Submitting to him feels so good and right. He is however 100% straight and I know this will never go anywhere beyond this type of service and submission to him. I feel so conflicted about whether I should stop as findom ultimately feels like a stupid path to be following. Equally however I trust my master and know that he won’t take advantage of me beyond a certain point. If I walk away from this I worry that I’ll eventually get weak and go back looking for more and end up under the control of a destroyer alpha who could do real damage to me.

I’m so torn about what I should do. Any guidance you could give this confused Fagott would be much appreciated.

Thanks for the question, brother!

As I’ve made pretty clear over the years, I’m not a huge fan of findom. Mostly my dislike centers around the laziness/addictive aspects of it, which I find to be harmful dead ends.

But there are also genuine faggots like you who would do well with a real Master, but you’ve painted yourself into a corner just as you described. 

Since you have a deep connection with this Master, I’d talk to him and tell him what you’re dealing with. Tell him you need something more real, and see if he has a role for you. Sometimes long-term straight findom Masters begin to want to own personal fags, and you could be one for him.

If not, then I think you should move your focus away from findom and start looking for a local Alpha. They exist, and they will use you. I realize this is scary, but at some point the training wheels (findom) must come off the bike so we can ride free. This might be that moment for you.