Crossroads

Hi Sam,

I never thought I would write back so quick but I haven’t been too honest with myself. What I didn’t mention about me thinking I might be a beta/fag instead of an alpha is lately I’ve found myself enjoying the smell of the gym. At first I thought it was just because I’ve loved being at the gym to work out but my friend in my frat left his workout shirt on my bed and I had to stop myself from going up and smelling it. When I first wrote to you I think I knew a bit that I might not be an alpha like I thought, but I guess I was holding out hope you would tell me I just lost my way. After reading a bit though I have to say I don’t think I’m an alpha and it might have been just the hometown I grew up in.

I never gave you any background but I’m Asian, around 5’11 with a six pack and a six inch dick. In my hometown which was more Asians I stood out and I think that’s why I thought I was an alpha but being here now with other guys I feel my confidence of standing out slipping away. The reason I’m writing so soon was today my frat friend asked me to give him a massage because he was sore and called me a “good boy for being obedient.” I tried to ignore it but that phrase has been echoing in my head since then and I can’t lie I’ve been thinking about his bulge all day.
I think just being a more masculine jock is making be hesitant of accepting being inferior that I have to be a top at least. Do you have any tips of overcoming my dignity because my heart is telling me I should try serving to see if I enjoy it but my head is too proud to submit? Or how I could approach my friend ir if you think he already knows? I apologize for the lengthy excerpt but I feel this is a subject I can’t talk to anyone else about.