How can I make the next, necessary step and fully live my life as a faggot?

Hello there!! I am 32 now and I always knew that I am a faggot. I got fucked in my ass for the first time at age 17 by a 56 year old man. I always had girlfriends and affairs with women while I permanently enjoyed to be a faggot slut for older men. I am single for 3 years now and since then locked in chastity by my female roommate, and to be perfectly honest I love it like that. I  don't want to use my limp dick because I feel like a total faggot and I only want and need to serve and satisfy men. I go to adult cinemas and public cruising areas a few times a week, serving every man with all my holes completely naked in my chastity cage and I love it and crave it. Actually today 4 strangers came on my face. But I can't really go the next step and fully embrace it. What is my problem?