How to overcome the urge to run away?

Hello Sam, fellow fag here, I hope this finds you well.

Firstly, I must start by thanking you for your wonderful work over the years. I was a reader back when FWA was still a thing. I also thank you for being candid with your own struggles, personal and legal, and standing up to fascism. While this is a space for domination and submission it is still important to be principled in every aspect of your being. I hold tremendous respect for you.

Before I get to my question here is some context: I've dipped my toes at various levels with submission, exclusively online. I did get close to meeting in person but I chickened out. In fact I threw my cage away. And I've done that a few times now. I get scared and want to distance myself from the fag inside me. Inevitably though I always return. I know it stems from some trauma I still carry and I'm neurodivergent.

Now I have the opportunity to reach out to that alpha again. I know I don't deserve his attention but he was damn good as my Daddy. Equally I don't want to insult him by crawling back (for the third time). He deserves better.

I do find myself in a better headspace though and I've managed to beat my previous chastity lockup record and counting. Additionally, I do struggle to find the right connections with alphas that can accommodate my disability.

My queries for you are:

Could you offer advice on how to conquer that fear?
What would you suggest to fags that want to run away instinctively?
Is there a way to make things good with my Daddy? Should I even attempt it?
Do you have any external resources that you think would help unowned fags beyond content on this website?

Thank you for this opportunity to ask and I will keep following in the hope of becoming a better fag. Even if this doesn't get a response please continue your hard work.

Many thanks,

subnameddom (I'm aware of the irony)

PS: encountered an error when submitting so this may be a duplicate. Please remove this bit if so. TY