Should I continue serving my ex boyfriend/dom

I need your help, as all my friend could not understand the situation I'm in.

I have been in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for few years, for at least the last 3 years i became more and more a sub for him, even his slave, his toy...

We succeeded to deal with both relationships quit well (dom and boyfriend) for a while, but now, unfortunately we cannot be boyfriend anymore (it's more about our future than about feelings). I was the one breaking up with him. But we have continued to see each other few times since because we couldn't resist the envy of fucking together again...

And I just love being his sub, it feels so natural and i can't resist being on my knees worshipping him.

Here is my question :

Should I continue serving him, even though it might keep us/me in the past, now that we don't have a love relationship anymore? We are leaving quit far away so we just see each other during some short period, few weeks now and there...and he doesn't want for me to serve him if I see other guys. Also he would like me to remain caged...

I am 21, should i give up on this quit disfunctional relationship and try to find an other alpha i can serve for life as I am still young ? Or should I remain at his service because my true purpose is to serve Alpha, no matter what sacrifice it means for me?

Also, he is very dominant but also very loving (mostly after sex) and likes to hug kiss etc... I'm worried there are still love feelings in this relationship, which would not be healthy both for him and my self but in the mean time when i say i'm serving him, i should not choose how... If he wants to use me by hugging and kissing, i feel like i should do it like I do for every other wants he has.

I'm not sure my text is very clear but I hope you will get the point... And sorry for my mistakes, I'm not native English 😅