Hi sam.

I’m a soon to turn 38yo faggot from Rio and I’ve been dealing with this gut wrenching anxiety for a while. I’m a good faggot. I’ve always been, since I was 13 and served my school bullies without questioning or even knowing about what being a fag was(or even gay for that matter, I actually used to think I was bi) or hierarchy. I’ve done basically everything there is to do in the fag book: being used sexually, domestically, taking a good beating, degraded, exposed, used by my straight friends to kill their “curiosity” on how does it feel to be sucked by a guy – and completely aware that I was being used by that, and I was ok with it. I’ve served alphas in locker rooms, public bathrooms, You name it. I even got to be used to take an alphas brother virginity so he could practice with a faggot in order for him to be confident and know what to do with his first girl. I was used by a straight alpha whose girlfriend wanted to see him fucking another guy (and I only got to see that girl at the motel room). I’ve done chastity (by myself). I’ve done findom. I mean… It was never, EVER, a problem finding an alpha to serve.

But maybe I’m living a kinda early midlife crisis of some sort. My looks is not the same as it used to (I’ve always been chubby, but I gained a lot of weight over the last year and a half due to depression – which is being treated and I feel a lot better now, though I tried to take my own life last November).

I just… I feel like this is it for me. I can’t get a guy (not even talking about an alpha, but just A GUY) to use me. And yes, I tried escort services unsuccessfully. It’s like they don’t wanna use me EVEN IF I PAY THEM. And this last part is what seems to hurt me the most, idk.

I’ve always been a very proud and confident fag. And I’m pretty lost and loosing faith about it to be honest with you.

Any advise for me? Is there a point of no return in the life of faggots where we’re just disposable like that?

Hi, brother. Thank you for writing.

I understand your pain! Believe me, I get it. Aging is something everyone goes through, and it’s never pleasant. We lose steps, fall behind, things on our bodies fail, and other parts don’t stay where they used to. 

The sad reality is faggots DO have a shelf life sexually … but that shelf life shouldn’t be THIRTY-EIGHT years old, brother. But let’s be honest about things … you’ve let yourself go physically, and we can’t expect Men (especially Alphas) to want to use us sexually if we are out of shape. Men are notoriously visual, and on top of that notoriously hungry for young meat. We can’t expect conditions like those to change for our sakes, right? So we play the game as dictated by the rules in place. 

Let’s do a little test, and be honest with yourself: You might not be able to serve 21-year-old Alphas anymore, but what about a 50-year-old Alpha? What was your reaction to that last question? Did you turn up your nose at that suggestion? I know a lot of faggots who would say “Eww gross” or something like that. Do you see how ageism works in the opposite direction?

My point is we need to adjust our thinking and expectations as we age. We aren’t cute little club twinks anymore with our brains fried on poppers or other substances. The parties that seemed neverending definitely have an end. We must change as our bodies and circumstances change. 

But my message isn’t one of despair and desolation, brother. You see, when we alter our viewpoint and expectations, other forms of service can replace the old ways we served. For example, take a look at Chadwick (featured here on this site). He hid in the closet HIS ENTIRE LIFE until he got into his SIXTIES before finally being bold enough to try and be useful to Alphas. And you know what? He now serves SIX Alphas domestically and is more fulfilled now than he ever has before! 

Chadwick could’ve just given up and reasoned “I’m too old and nobody will fuck me so I guess my life is over.” But he didn’t do that! He adjusted his hopes and expectations, and instead figured out how he can be USEFUL. And sure enough, he discovered that he can, indeed, be very useful! 

And so can you! So pick yourself up, shake off the pity party, and get yourself back in the game. You’re too young and definitely too USEFUL to be feeling this despondent! 

Have a question? CLICK HERE to ask!

I think this is a philophical question for everyone… but don’t you think aging is much worse for fags and women than it is for Alphas? I am 45 and my straight male friends and even my gay top friends seem to be dealing very well with his age. My female and fag friends, including myself, are always suffering about getting old.

I am almost giving up on finding a true Alpha willing to own me. I’ve met hundreds and 99% of them just want me as a cash fag or for domestic service. Sometimes it seems that for every Alpha around my age that could use me as a cumdump there are already 50 tight 18-year-old twinks ready to seduce them. The last time I had a date, the Alpha took me to his place, and when I finally had the chance to serve me he put NextDoorTwink on his phone and watched while I sucked his dick. I felt miserable afterwards. Do you have any thoughts on that?

Brother, I appreciate your sincere thoughts. It’s true … we faggots (and females) have a shelf life. Alphas don’t, nor do Men in general. I realize that doesn’t seem fair, but it’s reality.

So we really need to come to grips with what really drives our faggot nature. Are we only a faggot because we get off on the hotness of nasty sex? Or is it about something deeper?

Do we yearn to be used … or do we yearn to be useful? 

I’ve known older domestic faggots who were eventually used sexually; you see, their faithful, high-quality domestic service earned their Master’s affectionate attention over time. But even if we aren’t used sexually, can we still find ways to be useful to Men and be owned by them? ABSOLUTELY. It’s all a matter of mindset, brother.

So stop making yourself miserable by trying to be the hot 20-year-old faggot you once were and failing. Men aren’t looking at you that way anymore. Make them see the other valuable services you can offer them, and you will likely find service rewarding again. 

Have a question? CLICK HERE to ask!