The following post is part of a column written by a 40-something experienced faggot who calls himself “Mr. Fag”. CLICK HERE to read all of these posts in chronological order!

Dear Sam,

I read your latest post and wanted to put my two cents into this conversation. I hope younger fags will read this carefully.

There is nothing extreme or pathological in acknowledging hierarchical dynamics between alphas and fags. What is extreme—and counterproductive—is the idea that a fag’s role begins and ends with service or submission without the prior work of self-possession. The most important necessity is that a fag must first take care of himself. Self-discipline, physical and mental maintenance, competence in study or work, and basic self-regard are not optional extras. They are the precondition for any healthy dynamic.

Only someone who is comfortable in his own skin, who can feed himself, manage his time, hold a job or advance a career, and regulate his impulses can offer consistent, high-quality service. The more self-aware and self-disciplined a fag is, the better the service he can provide. Chaos, self-neglect, or performative helplessness do not produce better submission; they produce burnout, resentment, and short-lived arrangements. Discipline—whether cultivated internally or reinforced by an alpha—is not a dirty word. It is a practical requirement. Positive energy exists in abundance in many fags; without channeling, it scatters. Service is one legitimate, historically recurring way to give that energy form and direction.

That historical recurrence matters, especially for younger fags who have grown up online. Classical Greek erastes–eromenos bonds combined mentorship, military preparation, philosophical formation, and sex; material support and gifts typically flowed from the higher-status partner toward the younger. Roman patronage and clientela systems were hierarchical and reciprocal: the superior offered protection, advancement, and resources; the inferior offered loyalty, political support, and useful service. Status differences were real, erotic elements sometimes present, and service expected—but the subordinate’s value (and today the fag’s value) rested on competence, loyalty, and usefulness.

Modern findom is entirely legitimate when it is consensual and clearly negotiated. It is not a necessity. It is a recent, internet-era elaboration of power exchange. Before the internet, alphas who fucked fags did so for the direct pleasure of power, control, and sexual use—nothing more was required. Cash tribute was not the historical price of admission. Treating financial extraction as the default or the purest expression of hierarchy confuses a contemporary option with older models in which the core exchange was the act itself and the structured usefulness that accompanied it.

The deeper continuity is complementary difference in drives. The alpha’s physiology and psychology typically orient toward control, fucking, breeding, competition, and outward assertion; the fag’s toward service, containment of that energy, and the satisfaction of being used within clear bounds. These are not moral rankings. They are observed patterns of orientation that allow hierarchical men to function better.

There is no inherent shame in being a faggot. Once self-discipline is established and a fag has found an alpha whose standards and presence actually fit, the dynamic can be mutually generative. Both parties grow. The alpha gains a reliable outlet and a partner whose competence multiplies his own effectiveness; the fag gains structure, purpose, and the concrete experience of being useful. Alphas have a practical duty here: letting the fag develop—skills, fitness, emotional regulation, career capacity—is not charity. It is self-interest. A stronger, more capable fag is a better instrument and a more durable one. The alpha’s need to express through sport, sex, and dominance finds its counterpart in the fag’s nature; the equilibrium is delicate precisely because it depends on both sides remaining functional adults rather than collapsing into caricature.

None of this requires romanticizing degradation or pretending that every online role-play is a serious life structure. It simply requires honesty about complementary needs and the basic adult requirement that anyone who wants to serve—or to be served—must first be able to stand on his own feet. Self-care is not the opposite of hierarchy. It is what makes hierarchy sustainable and, for those who choose it, generative.

I am sure somebody will disagree, and that is fine. But an 18-year-old man, whether alpha or fag, should still stand on his own feet. That is where his value begins.

Yours, Mr. Fag

Excellent, thoughtfully-executed essay on this topic, my brother!!! Thank you for sharing!

Love,

sam the faggot