Hello Sam,
I hope you are doing well! After being a cocksucker for an alpha throughout my Senior Year, I’ve accepted I’m a faggot now at 18. However, I’m really sad. My alpha, Adam, has basically thrown me away after getting a new girlfriend. He was the first guy I ever sent to, and the only guy I ever sucked too. I’m really depressed now cause I really liked him, and none of the other guys at my high school know I’m a faggot. I’m wondering should I try to convince him to let me his faggot again, or should look for a new guy to serve? I don’t want to be disloyal to him, but I don’t think he wants me anymore. I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Sincerely,
Mark
Brother, thank you for writing!
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened with you and your first Alpha! I know exactly what you’re going through, because your story is EXACTLY what happened between me and my first Alpha, Roger. He turned me into his cocksucker for our final year of high school, but then he fell in love with the girl he would eventually marry, so he dismissed me.
I didn’t handle it well at all. I embarrassed myself a couple of times after my dismissal. I remember one humiliating night when I tracked him down at his girlfriend’s family’s BBQ to confront him and tearfully begged to speak with him, completely confusing everyone except Master Roger, who was enraged.
I’m sure that kind of behavior sounds unbelievable from me now given what you know about me and my principled approach to my faghood these days, but I was just a fresh new faggot suddenly alone with a fresh new purpose that I didn’t know how to apply in my life. I was scared, deeply sad, and hopelessly adrift.
You might recognize your own feelings in what I wrote above, baby brother. If so, then you’re on the right track.
It’s okay to feel panicked, run over, and crumpled up like trash. As faggots, we have those kinds of moments as we fulfill our purpose. The sad emptiness you’re experiencing now steels you and trains your heart so you can become stronger and more purposeful.
I resented Master Roger for years after it happened, but I was wrong. As a straight Alpha, he was merely following instinct. Owning a faggot was simply too much to handle while trying to navigate a serious other relationship with his future wife. It’s the same with your former Master, too.
My lowest point in this entire episode of my life came when I tearfully confronted him outside his house late one night. He was trying to explain that he loved her and wanted to be with her. “But what about ME??” I cried.
Then came a response I didn’t expect from him: “What about you?”
In that moment, my entire purpose as a faggot crystallized. I realized that faggots are ultimately expendable and replaceable. We don’t fit neatly or cleanly into the lives of straight Alphas. And if we are going to serve them, then we must be prepared to have our hearts torn apart, too.
In other words, the pain you feel is justified and real, but it’s serving a purpose within your heart.
After my dismissal, I went on a wild 3/4 year tear of hard partying and lots and lots of random cocksucking. I don’t recommend that path, brother, but I understand it if you do. We all react to pain in different ways. I chose to numb it with alcohol/drugs/casual sex. I hope you choose a different, kinder path for yourself, because you deserve it, sweetheart.
In the end, everybody gets their heart broken at some point. Eventually, we get back up and go find new adventures. As a faggot, you get to have wilder adventures than others, a life enriched by living entirely with purpose as a guiding light!
Don’t be afraid. Be excited by what can happen now!
But most of all, be grateful to your first Master, Adam. He taught you about your purpose … and by saying goodbye he’s giving you a chance to live it.
I love you, little brother!
Always,
sam the faggot
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