Hi again Sam
I hope you don’t mind this faggot following up on your very interesting reply to my last question. Faggot wondered if it could ever be the case that true Masters occasionally like to take cock themselves – your answer made faggot think it’s not acceptable yet it has had some further thoughts on this which it would like to share. Masters have the freedom to seek pleasure wherever and however They choose. By exercising that choice They are asserting Their rights, and faggot guesses (obviously no faggot can truly understand the mind of an alpha) that sometimes some Masters may enjoy the sensation of having Their hole penetrated. Faggot wonders if this would be per se a loss of dignity or a diminution of a Master’s masculinity? An interesting question, faggot thinks, for discussion in the Hierarchy University.
Of course in this faggot’s case the particular issue in the original question was its own embarrassment at having to use its dicklet in such a way; but then again, as Master has always declared that faggot’s dicklet belongs to Him then faggot supposes it could be argued that Master is merely using His own property to please Himself. This is all very perplexing for a mere faggot brain!!
The issue of faggot’s relationship with its dicklet (not really belonging to it but to Master, of course) is sometimes a difficult one to manage. Faggot has for many years had a serious problem with masturbation but Master prefers it not to wear a device because He believes that developing self-control is a much more fulfilling practice. By having to struggle every day when temptation arises faggot is constantly having to focus on and strengthen its commitment to Master’s command. However over time this has become much easier and faggot now finds the idea of masturbation repellent and selfish whilst the word itself – masturbation- seems ugly. Faggot guesses that its growth towards dissociating its dicklet from any legitimate kind of sexual pleasure (even though it still experiences powerful erections) has made it more difficult to satisfy Master’s very occasional commands to fuck Him – yet again faggot finds itself shuddering at the inappropriateness of those two words! Thank you Sam for taking the trouble to take on board this silly faggot’s meanderings. It hopes you have more wise words to dispense!
Thanks for writing again, brother!
Even though I’m now a big proponent of chastity (locked for all of five years aside from my two years in prison), that wasn’t always the case. None of my Masters ever required it of me because I have a tiny penis that never got hard while serving, so it wasn’t an issue. However, I DID have a secret masturbation problem for my entire life until right before I self-locked. I overcame that issue thanks to starting this site, actually! I became intimately involved with some God Alphas, and they so humbled me that I eventually became ashamed of masturbating. Then I eventually became ashamed of using my penis like Men do (for example, using a urinal). So masturbation stopped, and I eventually self-locked out of desperation.
It sounds like your evolution is following the same path as mine. I think it’s wise of your Master to have you overcome masturbation voluntarily using self-control rather than a device. But once you do have it under control, I do hope your Master does agree to lock you in chastity. There is something profound about being locked. It has truly changed my life for the better.
I do think you should have a respectful-but-frank conversation with your Master about your feelings regarding you topping him. You need to help him see how this is hurting you, and also how it is hurting how you view him. You need to help him understand that you want nothing more than to serve him and submit to him, but topping him not only makes you extremely uncomfortable, it bit also degrades that submission you feel toward him.
Your Master sounds like an insightful Alpha. I’m sure he will listen and understand if you explain it to him.
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