Hi Sam
Its Javi Thank you for your advice the other day about Alpha latency, and yea lol your right. I dont see myself as a fag for a number of reasons which I probably list or attach. I would be unable to serve any/all men or be open to it. I do not respond to abuse/degradation, as I do praise. I’m not the biggest fan of bottoming, honestly hatted until I bought massagers and such since riding a dildo is just leg day with extra steps to me, on top of being a laborious process. A lot of “fag” situations/incidents (outside of sex) never happened to me cause I either retaliated or those who would sensed something in me. When I saw myself as a fag it was more based in submitting to a man without respect to him and his abilities that he was more capable and better than I; it was not admiration. I was raised to be better than my parent this was told to me from an early age, so I guess I apply that notion to submission. I tried being a fag for straight men and it sucked I was bored with them and often left or ended things since they wanted to make me feminine so they would be masculine they were very hasty as well with dominating another person. I also don’t like being told what do, as a child I struggled with apologizing, so being a fag isn’t me. However I see 2 lanes for myself after read more post and stories. Understanding the naturalness of dom and sub and how it shows up in nature I can say Im an Alpha but i have no desire to own faggots, control them, impose my will(I do this normally), and being their Alpha if presented the opportunity I would but I wouldn’t;t be seeking it. Lane 1 akin to something like Bruno or Jose a used to be master submitting to a “God” Alpha as you call it (I dislike calling another man God). Reading Bruno’s post & those related to him I see a lot of similarities namely his Master is/was bi, I have consistently attracted bi men also so I can expect any guy into me is bi so that stood out to me. Another similarities was reading Master Jose post and how there was submission to Lorenzo but as I stated mutual respect under full acknowledgment of roles and status etc. Certain aspects also got me hard like how Juan juggle his love for his fag with his desire for heirs, Juan’s acceptance of Lorenzo as his superior and what comes with that. Lane 2 would be that of Master Jase and his Alpha bf a pair of equal that playful compete with one another that is healthy fun and invigorating. Being able to take awe of my partner in their domain and exuding their power thats how you come to deeply respect a person. So yes I see my in lane or lane 2 the most; Submitting to men like Lorenzo, Juan, etc as either their lesser brother or their personal close, bf-like fag. being with an equal and owning fags together. Ideally I think it would be lane 1 since thats what I had envisioned for myself (the advisor of the king) but without having the correct knowledge and framework. Im still open to lane 2 and the possibility of owning a fag but it’s still not something I would hunt for. If any kingly Alphas have any suggests I’d love hearing your thoughts.
More about me (24, 5’10, 190 stocky. US)
I wasn’t weak as a kid, but shy yes. And there were a few times I did get bullied but I genuinely didn’t see it that way I thought the guy was an asshole and ignored him until ppl told me what the was perception and I fought him the next day. Then kicked his ass when he wanted a rematch. I also used to be a bit of bully in grade school, I teased a kid obviously weaker but only cause he was upsetting the class namely the girls. I also beat up a guy in MS cause he wouldn’t let his gf be friends with me & she was too in love to do something. If there is any trauma prob just the challenge that comes with being out/gay at an early age. I knew I was gay at 13 cause I had no love for my gf and had love for guys. I never had a I hate being gay phase it made my life easier in way cause I would have been abusive if I pursued women seriously. Being gay in youth comes with teasing and bullshit from other guys; looking back I never let them do shit to me I mean you can’t stop other’s actions but I always retaliated. I think having do so for such a long time made me view myself a bit lower since so much of my time was spent playing tit for tat that I probably lost a bit of my assertiveness.Im naturally strong its regularly praised of it at work, I have quite a lot of autonomy as person and as a worker I’ve always had leeway at the jobs I had. Also outside of sex I’m typically doing whats seen as alpha stuff. Like yes training and martial arts, self studies into diff subjects like chemistry, cybsec, physiotherapy, languages etc, but namely I do a lot of guiding, helping others move past their own boundaries and limitations, assisting with problems that others think are too big or hard to overcome. Typically for free since its ppl I know and are cool with but, maybe due to the law of transaction I end up getting free stuff or elevated treatment, which I’m grateful for, & often I’ve been asked or begged to accept what is offered or allowed. I guess you could say I was popular since everyone knew me by name but I didn’t know them even in college this remained true. I have more success pulling bi men, than gay men as well, as with bi men i’ve typically submitted and with gay men I dominated or at least was the initiator for things. The gays I’ve been with were more into me than I them(prob something i should work on). I can be a lot for most people I don’t really get depressed or bogged down, Im known as optimistic and willing to try, I’ve had people tell me how I am a inspiration for them and I was just being me. I’m outgoing but reserved, I naturally disarm others. Lastly I think I’m intrigued by Lorenzo as a gay Alpha since I haven’t met any in my area or those who weren’t acting for dating sites and social media; mainly I dealt with straight or bi Alphas and other gays encouraging me to fully embrace faghood.
This is a follow-up to THIS QUESTION.
Sir, thank you very much for following-up on your previous question!
I’m very happy that you’ve made this discovery about yourself! I’ll admit that I suspected you were a latent Alpha, but yours wasn’t a clear-cut case as others have been. I guess my intuition is more finely-tuned than I think! I should listen to my gut more!
It’s so odd to me how many Alphas blow off-course during their development. Your story strikes me as one of the more extreme examples of how gay Alphas get twisted up by gay cultural expectations. For whatever reason, the term “gay Alpha” is viewed as an oxymoron BY THE GAY COMMUNITY. It’s almost like self-sabotage, a sort of self-hating prejudice in the community that I really hate. All it does is cause damage to gay Alphas like you, Sir, and prevents you from truly finding fulfillment.
I love that you went through the archives here and started identifying examples of latent Alphas as well as gay Alphas with whom you identify. This is so important, because you need to reinforce such positive examples in your mind in order to deprogram what others have implanted in your mind. You’ve picked some fine Alpha models, particularly Master Lorenzo. Master Lorenzo and Master Dean are gay Alphas who will never bend a knee to another Man, and to whom all others submit.
Of course, you mostly seem to identify with Master Jose, lower-level Alphas who benefit from some amount of submission to higher powers. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. The Alpha hierarchy is a very real thing, and it exists for a reason. Just keep in mind that it is not faggot behavior for an Alpha to submit to another Alpha. Instead, it’s a rejuvenation, a respectful acknowledgement of power between brothers.
I’m really proud of you, Sir. I’m glad you’re on the road to recovery!
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