Questions From Readers
I know this is a very typical question, but I feel helpless here. I’m a faggot, living in a homophobic country and studying at a university (I’m 19). I haven’t been able to get this guy out of my head for a year or so.
He is a real alpha. He’s so charismatic, confident, a little arrogant. He can sometimes be embarrassed and shy, depending on the situation, but more often he behaves like a king and like everything is under his control.
I’m not sure if he’s protective or destructive alpha tho. I heard, that he is caring in relationship, but anyway, he thinks he is better in some way than others. He can hit, if you cross the line. He and his friends even often fight with each other just for fun.
I always stared at him in the locker room and imagined how I could serve him. But the fact is that we barely talk to each other. We only say “hello” when we see each other. And.. I already tried to test the waters.
I asked one person to send him a message, so to speak, a “letter” from me with a confession. But so that I remain anonymous. This guy, the alpha, just laughed and said that he definitely did not need this. After some time I heard him and his friends discussing who it could be. And he clearly thought the situation was ridiculous and absurd. But, I think, he was a bit proud of himself, that he can attract boys too, haha.
I made a mistake. I confessed my feelings. I expected something more like a relationship. Something romantic. But I don’t know if this could ever be possible. No one’s know that it was me, who confessed. And I feel scared to do any more steps. I feel scared, even terrified, that someone will find out and start to bully me or something… The chances are high.
What should I do? Confess, that I’m okay with just being an obedient fag, not expecting anything romantic? Or just leave it behind, because my safety is a priority 1? I really need an advice, even if it’s a stupid question.
My brother, thank you for writing to me! And it’s not a stupid question at all!
One of the most heartbreaking aspects of my time running this site are the many cries for help I’ve received from faggots trapped in homophobic countries. It’s especially hard to hear this from gays in the Middle East, because as long-term readers know, I rescued an 18-year-old Syrian boy from there after he reached out to me through this site. So I have all the empathy in the world for that situation, believe me.
I realize that my message of “be brave and offer yourself” can actually be quite dangerous to people in your situation. It can also be cruel; it’s like demanding that a paralyzed person get up and walk. I never want to add any further burden to anyone.
My first advice is my most urgent: do whatever you need to do to escape your country and start a new life in freedom. Get into a school and learn a valuable skill that can get you out of there (a lot of times schools on the outside will sponsor students to move). If you have anyone on the outside, start reaching out to them and find a pathway. This isn’t going to be an overnight process, but start steering your life in that direction and fight for it like your life depends on it (because it does!).
Now, if you really want to approach this Alpha, you must do it very carefully. Either try to befriend him somehow and start offering to do things for him. Be respectful, complimentary, attentive. Once he trusts you enough, give him the “Letter To An Alpha” that I have linked in the sidebar (I’m guessing that is not the letter you already gave him). Hopefully he will see it in a different light if he cares enough about you.
That’s probably the only way you’re going to do this and still remain safe. I can’t recommend more because I don’t know the situation very well and I don’t want to give you harmful advice.
Just know that you’re in my thoughts and in my heart, little one. I love you!
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