Questions From Readers
Hi Sam –
Longtime fan of your site. I have been trying to figure out what to write to you for a while now (if you want to share any of this on your site please feel free to do so).
A little background: I’m a fag, 40 years old, former fraternity guy and athlete. I’ve been married to my Alpha military husband (Army Alpha) for 10 years.
Our relationship in brief: I’m obviously a total bottom, I’m into a lot of kinks and some kinda extreme stuff. I’ve experienced a few rapes over my lifetime, and it’s a big part of my desire to serve. I also tend to seek situations where I put myself at risk of that happening and recreating what I’ve gone through. My favorite experiences of service have been for sadistic, Destroyer Alphas (if those details are of interest I can share my experiences). I’m a masochistic fag and like to know that my pain brings pleasure for an Alpha.
My Alpha husband (I’d say he is in the Protector Alpha category) understands this and has been open to exploring some of these desires of mine but also says he loves me and couldn’t take it as far as I want. He is a total top, but is more vanilla sexually. I obviously don’t pressure or force him to do anything he isn’t comfortable with, but it has impacted our sex lives. He usually only uses my mouth and not my fag hole because of his size (8-8.5 inches and extremely thick). Although I am a total bottom and have taken many Alpha cocks, and I stretch myself frequently, I remain very tight – to the point that sometimes he says it’s too tight for him to fuck me and doesn’t feel good on him. I’ve told him he can force it into me, begged him to, but when I start to show I’m in pain it turns him off.
We’re fully open, he fucks other fags and likes to hear about me getting fucked by other guys. We rarely have threesomes for many reasons (mostly irrelevant but can share if you want to know). But I’ve heard a really hard time recently finding any other true Alphas that would be willing to fuck me hard and wreck my fag hole. He says if I have that done he thinks I’d be loser for him.
For the next year we are long distance (because of a deployment for him) but I’ll be able to visit him for a month or two every few months. I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for an Alpha to own me while he’s gone (Grindr, X, BDSMLR, Reddit, etc) but have been unsuccessful.
My questions for you:
1. Where can I find an Alpha? Most guys I talk to are only seeking virtual roleplay, or are too far away to ever meet, or want a young fag (at 40 I’m still very conscious about my looks and body and make sure I stay attractive for Alphas). I’m mostly attracted to straight Alphas (all my friends are straight and they are 100% in the Alpha category). I’ve tried to show them I’d serve them but it’s never worked (a few brief moments with teammates or frat brothers or childhood friends but never long term).
2. I don’t want to pressure my Alpha husband into things and know it isn’t my place, but when he fucks other fags he is very rough and aggressive so I know he has that side to him as well. Is there a way I could respectfully encourage him to do the same to me? He recently told me about a fag he fucked wearing his uniform, one booted foot on the fags head while he fucked him using only a little spit for lube and the fag ripped and bled. I get hard knowing he did that and wish it were me. He knows that I’d like that but says he’d never want to hurt me. But he’s hurting me by not giving me that experience and it’s now becoming an overriding focus of my life. I’ll spend days seeking it out, and now that I live alone I have fewer responsibilities to my Alpha so I will ignore friends and family and work searching for an Alpha to use me (that’s incredibly embarrassing for me to admit, and I know it isn’t healthy but its been so long since I was able to feel of use and like I’m fully serving I am obsessed with it).
Sam – can you help me please?
Respectfully,
Frat Fag Alex
Thank you for writing to me, Alex! I apologize for the delay!
I’ve encountered this weird situation a couple of times in the past, and it always leaves me baffled. Protector Alphas are amazing, but when they’re GAY Protector Alphas it can almost become a barrier. Gay Protector Alphas are too careful with their faggot partners because they’re in love with their faggot partners.
A faggot is a very specific kind of creature. Our need to be used and serve overwhelms everything else. We surrender everything to fulfill this central need; our bodies, our minds, our self-respect, and even our hopes and dreams. Even extreme pain is not a real consideration for us fags, just as long as we are pleasing our Owners. All that truly matters to us is our Alpha’s complete satisfaction. I really don’t think it’s even possible for Alphas to comprehend this about their faggots, even extremely experienced Alphas like your husband.
I get that he loves you. You are his most prized possession. But that is what’s so confounding to me about this situation – he’s loving you so much that he’s preventing you from being the most complete version of yourself. By sparing you what he thinks is pain, he’s actually causing tremendous emotional damage to you instead. I’m sure you’d agree with me that a pussy hole delightfully damaged in service will recover, but slowly suffocating to death as years tick away is the kind of damage that is hard to recover. Does your husband really think it’s okay for you to watch him use other faggots the way you desperately want to be treated?? That idea is mind-boggling to me.
It’s amazing how much better straight Alphas are with their personal faggots when it comes to this issue, and I think that’s both a shame and a mystery.
Anyway, back on point. I want to deal with the second question first, because I think the real issue is what’s happening in the marriage.
First and foremost, I want you to have your husband read your ask and my reply. It’s very important that he comprehends the depth of your desperation and sadness over this. He needs to appreciate how much long-term damage this is causing within you. He also needs to understand that giving to other fags the most intrinsic thing you desire and are denied is absolutely wrong, cruel, and unconscionable.
Secondly, whenever you both are together, I want you to try Caged Jock’s ingenious hole-stretching method using chopsticks (SEE THE VIDEO HERE). This is an activity you can do together to stretch you more and prepare you for the fuck of your life. This is the kind of “upkeep” every Master should be doing with their faggots in order to customize them for proper service.
As for your Question #1:
Submitting to your straight Alpha friends is still a possibility, but it might be only in the domestic aspect unless you get them drunk. The problem faggots have when trying to seduce their straight Alpha friends is the “friends” part. When an Alpha sees a guy as his friend (and “equal”), he’s less likely to want to use the fag. Calling them “Sir”, being complimentary, and directing the conversations to them in upbuilding ways (particularly engaging them in conversations about their Alphahood) can and often does lead to some engagement. Take a couple of these straight Alpha friends out for dinner/drinks and employ a more submissive persona, utilize what I just told you, and you might be surprised. I wonder if they even really understand what a faggot is … so it might be good to educate them. They’d also need to understand that your Owner has no issue with you serving other Alphas.
You can employ these same techniques while out alone at a bar or restaurant/bar and you see a straight Alpha alone. Offer to pay for his meal/drinks, and when he asks, just be frank as to why. Is he really going to hit a submissive male who’s buying stuff for him and calling him an Alpha? Of course not! He might not be willing to do anything, but this is a game of repetition and averages. Keep trying, and you will find success.
The apps are a mess, but apps like TheBlowers.com will absolutely get you Alpha action. Try that in a pinch.
In conclusion, I honestly think this situation with your Alpha husband can be fixed. There needs to be more open, honest communication and some experimentation to make it work.
Thank you for the long-time readership, and for reaching out to me, my brother!
Love,
sam the faggot
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