Hello, Sam,
I would like to clarify that English is not my native language at all, so if you find any errors in the translation of this message, I hope you’ll understand.
I’m not entirely sure how to address this. I feel it might get long.
You can call me Manuel, and I’m 35 years old.
I found my way to this platform because of two friends, a couple I’ve known for almost fifteen years. They suggested it to me. You might be wondering why they did that. Well, they both identify as “faggots.” Plain and simple. To me, they had always seemed like a standard gay couple. But I’ve come to realize that’s not the case.
What do I have to do with all this? Well, I’m a gay man, a top, and according to people who know me, charming, with a nice smile and charisma. It might sound like I’m bragging, but I swear that’s what they say.
I am, in a way, a unique kind of person, if you will. Let’s just say my principles align with “monogamy, tradition, and family.” I’m not open to polyamorous relationships or anything similar, and I’m not interested in being with someone who is with others. I’m clear about this: what’s mine is not to be shared. And I’ve never really been into threesomes. Why mention this detail? Because the couple I told you about asked me to take on the role of an “Alpha” in their lives. At first, not understanding the concept that I’ve now come across here, I thought it was just a kind of fetish—a sexual game, you know? So I went along with it. I found it amusing to play the role of giving orders (I naturally excel at giving directions, taking the lead, and guiding a room full of people). Initially, or during the time I participated, I felt a sense of discomfort about dominating someone to the extent that they’d lose themselves and focus solely on me. It seemed to escalate beyond just occasional moments, and I felt it could get out of hand.
I don’t need others to do things for me because I’m an independent man. I know how to fend for myself. I’ve always found it peculiar to think that people who have others as servants are, at their core, lazy and parasitic. Perhaps this expression doesn’t carry the same weight in English as it does in Spanish.
What I discovered here, rather than motivating me, has concerned me on multiple levels—from a legal standpoint to a personal one. I’ve always been someone who believes that we are all equal, both under the law and as human beings. Of course, I recognize skills and differences, but I hope my point is clear.
This couple who tried to introduce me to this world told me I have a natural talent for it, that they love pleasing me, and that they adore the idea of being dominated by me. And yes, I know I have the power to dominate (I do so sexually; in my work as a teacher, I’m one of the most respected at my high school; in my personal life, I dictate the pace of how and where I want things to go, among other things). But the main idea—that it doesn’t entertain me or bring me any pleasure to have someone feel intimidated by my presence—repels me. Additionally, I wouldn’t even know how to explain what this would mean to my social circle, for that matter.
I feel these contradictions are what cause my discomfort. To be honest, I enjoyed it when I thought it was just a game, and the next day we could be joking around and eating pizza in the living room as if nothing had happened. But after reading here and realizing they’d essentially become a type of servant—present to please me but disappearing from sight to make my life easier—it lost its appeal. I enjoy rough sex, taking control in bed, being wild and dirty, and then having an equal conversation afterward. The idea of having someone to abuse sexually at my whim, who would essentially need my permission to breathe, doesn’t interest me. I think I’d lose patience very quickly. I’d see them as incompetent. And I hate incompetence.
Maybe I don’t know exactly what I want to ask you. Perhaps the question is: What do my friends expect from me? Is it okay to tell them I’m genuinely not interested? Because, honestly, I fail to see the appeal in any of this.
Sam, I hope you can read this and at least give me your clear perspective.
Sir, thank you so much for writing to me about this issue! I can see that it troubles you. I will do whatever I can to help you sort it out.
Let me tackle the definitional issue first before getting into your particular problem. Hierarchy is real, Sir. There can be no denying it. Look around you, Sir. NOBODY IS REALLY EQUAL. Our whole world is is filled with inequality of all sorts, whether it be genetically, attractiveness, financial, sociological, or anything else. Hell, Men aren’t even the same height, or have the same dick size!
The reason why terms such as “Alpha” and “faggot” or “slave” exist is solely because Hierarchy is true, and not some fetish. Look at every government that has ever ruled the Earth, Sir. Each one has been led by a powerful leader, and the rest below that leader serve.
Even in terms of sexuality, humans are not equal. One is the penetrator, the Top; the other is the receiver, the bottom. It’s clear which one has the dominant role even then.
So hopefully I’ve been able to establish that Hierarchy is real and equality is an illusion. Some Men are simply born better than others. It’s a cold, hard fact of life.
Having said that, I will say that your description of yourself indicates that you have some Alpha qualities, Sir. Your possessiveness, your desire to take charge, your impatience with indecision … these and more are qualities that define an Alpha personality. I do think you might be Alpha, but I’m guessing your misguided beliefs in equality and fairness have kept you from realizing this about yourself.
This faggot couple might be seeing it correctly. They have identified Alpha qualities about you, and they’re trying to help you embrace them and your Alphahood. I can’t see everything they’ve seen over 15 years, but clearly there’s something.
However, I think this faggot couple is wrong to try and force you to be something you’re not ready to tackle. It almost feels like they’re trying to make you become an Alpha for the satisfaction of their own faggot desires. That’s the wrong thing to do. Alphas don’t exist to serve the needs of faggots … instead, faggots are the ones who exist to serve the needs of Alphas. So I think what they’re trying to do with you is unfair, Sir.
The reality is this: you may not be Alpha, and if you are Alpha, you might never accept it and embrace it as your purpose. It’s too early to see what is the truth about you Sir. It doesn’t help that you’re so conflicted about the issue.
Here’s what I think you should do: stop fooling around sexually with this faggot couple, and take a step back. I want you to look carefully at how people react to you, how people are not equal, how people want to serve you. Think about how it feels (or felt) to be an object of worship. Think about what I wrote above about Hierarchy. See where you ultimately end up on these questions, Sir.
Before you go on, I think it’s critical to take a moment to look around at the world through the Hierarchical viewpoint I’ve described to you. See if you can find your true place in Hierarchy. Once you do, I think the rest will fall into place quite easily.
If you have any other issues, you can always write to me at hi*****************@***il.com.
Thank you, Sir!
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